It's now the beginning of June, all kinds of graduations & celebrations are taking place; Kindergarten to first grade, Jr High to High School, High School to College or sometimes not. This is often when everyone and everything we've known and held so dear changes. What about when dear friends and precious family move. Sometimes its just across town, sometimes they move to another state. If I'm honest, sometimes I feel like I've been left holding a heavy and very messy bag of garbage. What then? Where's my hope and joy when it feels like life seems to be passing me by.....
As participants in this crazy thing called life we watch, we wait, we lecture, beg, plead, maybe even yell and perhaps we pray. I don't know you or where you're at in life....maybe you pray like you've never prayed before or maybe it's the first time you've taken this prayer thing seriously.
Because as I continue to learn, God doesn't answer my prayers all nice and neat just like I've requested. Sometimes it seems like he doesn't answer at all. Perhaps God didn't hear me the first 100 times, maybe I could strike a deal with God. Could I have I prayed my prayers a different way? Could I have more faith, what if I trusted him more....maybe then? Am I being punished?
Painful isn't it...the agony of waiting.
As a professing believer in Jesus, I've been led to believe if I just had more faith, if I just trusted God more my prayers would be answered. Others look at me strangely, as though who am I to ask God for anything. I endeavor so hard to understand, to wrap my finite mind around what only an infinite God understands. Try as I might I can't see minute into the future. Yet my heart and head collide over the reality that EVERYTHING must pass through his sovereign hands.
At times it may not seem like God hears my whining, my pleas, the crazy dreams I lay at his feet. And yet just today, he sweetly reminded me that does hear me. By allowing me to read this poem written by one who had endured so much. And so my journey continues.
"Life is but a Weaving" (the Tapestry Poem)
"My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
and I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver's skillfull hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares;
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those
Who leave the choice to Him."
~ Corrie ten Boom